Senator Kennedy’s Takedown of Pretty Boy Gen Z ‘Expert Witness’ is a Cinematic Masterpiece

Senator John Kennedy has his moments. One of those moments came on Friday when a Gen Z “pretty boy” witness came before a panel to discuss the “crisis” of climate change.

The surreal spectacle of Senator Kennedy casually obliterating the “expert witness” — a dashing but naive professional skier — with his trademark genteel Louisiana manner has to be seen to be believed.

The transcript of the surreal exchange follows below. This really happened in the U.S. Senate.

Kennedy: What is carbon dioxide?

Schumacher: I went to high school, but carbon dioxide is a gas.

Kennedy: Okay.

Schumacher: I’m not a professional to talk about carbon dioxide so much, but…

Kennedy: Well, you want us to abolish it, right?

Schumacher: No. There’s always going to be carbon dioxide.

Kennedy: Right? So what is it you want us to do? Let me back up because you’re here as an expert. Tell me more about what carbon dioxide is.

Schumacher: I’m here as an expert cross country skier who sees the changes in my winters and the landscape that I live in Alaska. And so carbon dioxide is what I see it as is it’s a gas that exists in our atmosphere. And…

Kennedy: Is it the major part of our atmosphere?

Schumacher: It’s a huge part of our atmosphere, yes.

Kennedy: It’s actually a very small part of our atmosphere.

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Schumacher: Well, okay. But yeah, I don’t know. What are you asking specifically?

Kennedy: Well, you say we need to reduce carbon dioxide emissions. I’d like to know first if you know what it is you want us to abolish fossil fuels.

Schumacher: I never said that.

Kennedy: You never have said that?

Schumacher: No.

Kennedy: Okay. What do you think we ought to do with fossil fuels?

Schumacher: What will we do with fossil fuels?

Kennedy: Yeah. Should we make any changes?

Schumacher: I would like to see a decrease in the use of fossil fuels. I think there’s a possibility to use more electric generation.

Kennedy: Okay, over what period of time? 10 years, 50 years, a hundred years.

Schumacher: That’s not, I would like to see it come as fast as possible while continuing.

Kennedy: How fast?

Schumacher: Sorry?

Kennedy: How fast?

Schumacher: I’m not — I don’t have an answer for that.

Kennedy: No. Okay. You just think, how much will it cost for us to become carbon neutral in the United States by 2050?

Schumacher: I’m not a professional on that. I don’t have an answer.

Kennedy: You don’t have any idea?

Schumacher: No.

Kennedy: You just think we ought to spend the money.

Schumacher: I’m not an economist.

Kennedy: Yeah, but it’s going to cost money. You realize that.

Schumacher: Yeah, but we’ve also talked about the trade off of what the cost of climate change as emergencies will cost in the future also.

Kennedy: Right, but it’s going to cost trillions of dollars to become carbon neutral by 2050, right?

Schumacher: I do not know.

Kennedy:  You don’t know. You just think we ought to do it.

Schumacher: I don’t have a great answer for you, but I think I..

Kennedy: If we spent those trillions of dollars and became carbon neutral by 2050 in the United States, which you advocate, how much will it reduce world temperatures?

Schumacher: I don’t have an answer for that.

Kennedy: You don’t know?

Schumacher: No. 

Kennedy: You just think we’re ought to spend the money and then see what happens.

Schumacher: I think as an athlete, I think if we spend that money and invest in our future, hopefully those temperatures stop rising and maybe the snow at least stabilizes where it is for me. But yeah, I don’t think anyone knows for sure. I don’t know. Anyway.

Kennedy: Well, when my colleagues invite witnesses to come to us to tell us, advise us on passing legislation, I always check out the background of our witnesses. I’d like to know who I’m talking to. I checked yours out in a Schumacher, and I want to be sure I understand it as I evaluate your testimony.

On June 8th, 2020, you tweeted, I’m going to quote, ‘The War on drugs was intentionally created to incarcerate black people en masse.’ The war on drugs, you said was ‘intentionally created to incarcerate black people en masse’ who intentionally created the war on drugs to put black people in jail. Who were you talking to?

Schumacher: I don’t remember typing that.

Kennedy: You don’t? No. It’s on your Twitter feed.

Schumacher: Maybe a retweet. I don’t know. I haven’t used that in a while. It doesn’t seem…

Kennedy: Well, even if a retweet it shows your support, right?

Schumacher: Maybe. Yeah. But it’s not the topic of this conversation. Right?

Kennedy: Right. But it has to do with, you’re here giving us advice and I just kind of like to know a little bit more about your…

Schumacher: I mean, I’m here as an athlete giving you my story and what I’ve seen in my field.

Kennedy: On August 27th, 2020, you tweeted this quote, I’m going to quote, ‘police are paid with taxpayer dollars. If they are not answerable to us, we can demand new service, and that’s what this is. Abolish the police in favor of that new service.’ You think we ought to abolish the police?

Schumacher: Again, not the topic I’m here to talk about today.

Kennedy: I know, but you tweeted it. Do you think we ought to abolish some police?

Schumacher: That’s not what I’m here to talk about.

Kennedy: Should we do that before or after we get rid of fossil fuels?

Schumacher: I’m not going to address that.

Kennedy: You don’t want to address it. Okay. Let me ask you about one more of your tweets. On August 26th, 2020, you tweeted, there’s a picture, I’m not going to describe the picture, but you said quote your words, not mine. It’s on your Twitter feed, quote, ‘This is what systemic racism looks like. The Los Angeles Police Department is literally policing only the Black Lives Matter side.’ What’d you mean by that?

Schumacher: This is still off topic.

Kennedy: No, it’s not. You’re here as an expert telling us, advising us, and I’m asking you about your background.

Schumacher: I’m here as an athlete to talk about the effects of climate change on my sport.

Kennedy: Okay. Let’s go back. Well, I’m almost out of time.

Whitehouse: Well out of time, and we have other senators waiting, so please wrap up when you have a moment.

Kennedy: Alright. Thank you all for your testimony. Excuse me.

*End scene.*

There were some great reactions to the spectacle on X.

“Senator John Kennedy vs Pretty Boy Gen Z ‘Expert Witness.’ This is like watching a movie,” remarked Dinesh D’Souza.

“None of these climate activists do cost-benefit analyses, nor do they care about the ramifications of putting into place their destructive policies,” added political commentator Kyle Becker. “If it kills millions of people and ruins the economy, so be it. All they really care about is their narcissistic virtue-signaling.”

“Well, if you didn’t buy into the ‘climate emergency; narrative before, surely listening to this ski bro has brought you around,” quipped Fauxmaha.

By Melinda Davies
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